Trying not to swear

Have spent since 5pm today working out how to write this post without using various words.  So, am substituting the word 'cabbage' for one in particular and . . . well, we'll leave at that.

Had to deliver a cake today in the village near where I live.  Annoying in the first place as had dropped the price provided they collect.  Anyhow, got directions to ? Big House Road (yeah, I'm substituting here) and was told the house was called # ? Big House.  Well, drove up and down the village near where I live for an hour and met many very nice people, NONE of whom had heard of the house I was looking for.  In fact they were pretty adament that there was no such place in the village near where I live.  Whilst I was walking away from two very nice ladies in Bon Cottages I managed to fall down a hole!!!  The council (Fingal) in their wisdom had decided to remove a number of bollards from a grass verge but not fill in the holes.  The grass then grew over them and then I fell into one of them UP to the knee.  As I am used to embarrassing myself I didn't bat an eyelid but said 'seeya' to the ladies and went home and rang . . . . let's call her Margaret and asked for proper directions to where she lived.  Got the same directions as last time but decided to try again.  Rang Fingal in the meantime to give out them.  It would appear the people there are working to rule as the phone would ring out and then disconnect.

So, drove up and down Church Street and then rang 'Margaret' again to ask had the house any distinguishing features.  (No,)  What was the name of the road it was on (Castle Road), name of the house?? (eh, 1 Big House).  Anything nearby?  (No.).  She said she'd wait out front of the house wearing a red shirt.

Turned around and YAYAYAYAYA there she was, standing in he front garden wearing a red shirt.  On a road that wasn't called Castle Road.  And the house wasn't called BIG HOUSE it was called SMALL HOUSE and, AND, it had a great big cabbaging sign in the garden saying how wonderful the house was.  A great big NEON sign.  And the house name was wrong.  And the street name was wrong.  And she was a culchie.  AND SHE WASTED TWO FRICKIN BUGGERING CABBBAGING HOURS OF MY LIFE AND DIDN'T PAY ME ANYMORE THAN WE'D AGREED EVEN THOUGH THE SILLY, BLOODY, ANNOYING CABBAGE WASTED TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE AND I HAVE A BIG FAT SWOLLEN FRICKIN KNEE.

Good things that happened today:

Arthur met a real life Billy and Mandy and wasn't upset that she had a nose and he had a small nose.

Oscar said he wanted me to cuddle him in bed tonight.

Harry went arse over tit whilst showing me how he high kicks.