28 October, 2010


Took the kids to the thing in Causey Farm yesterday and it scared the shit out of them.  Everything kind've backfired and I ended up with the three of them in bed with me!!!  It was bloody brilliant.
From the beginning:
Got to C's at 2.45 or thereabouts, emptied the car, swapped seats and were back on the road by 3pm (yes, we're that good), got onto the M1 and promptly got lost at Slane.  Doh!!!!  Ended up waving guards down for directions.  Also ended up ringing the farm itself.  This is what I could hear:
C.  Hi there, can we get directions please, we're a bit lost (cue giggling from me).
Them. fjlsfjsdlfjlsdfjsdlkfj - couldn't hear them y'see.
C.  Yeahhhhh.... that's the problem, I don't know where we are.
Them.  ?????
C.  Cackle, oooh, oh, there's a pub.
Them.  Proper directions as follows.
Can imagine everyone at the other end cracking up at the idiots ringing up from 'somewhere' looking for directions.  Either way we got there by 4.30.  Just in time for our tractor ride to the old house for our first ghost story.  Very good.  Next the small circus, not so good.  Then to Witches School which was frickin' fantastic.  We learnt how to make kittens.  We would've seen a cat made but yer man's farts were crap.  We had to put sno' in the po', then chewed up worms, which Cinderella herself first chewed up and spat around the place (Cinderella was THE best thing for me personally) and then she had some auld fella squat over the pot and fart.  Brilliant.  Kids loved it.  Loved her spaghetti worms and her baked beans snot.  
Then onto the fire girl, she swung fire around.  We all loved that.  The little wanky kids in the front were like 'heare, iz tha reaul fiure?' (dya love me dublin accent?  hahah) She said it was, they still didn't believe her.  
Then onto the TUNNEL OF TERROR!!!!!  Big caps for emphasis on Tunnel and Terror.  Had to drag Oz in and Arthur pretty much.  Carol did likewise with her two.  We kept saying things like 'it'll be great fun' and 'it's not scary, only pretend'.  Oh how we lied.  It was deadly.  The whole place, half a barn, was divided up into rooms and corridors by plastic.  So you had your dining room with gore, kitchen with gore and, oddly enough, a picture of Bertie Ahern in the fridge, then AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAGHTHTHTTHT someone or two someones jumped on #1 and scared the frickin' bejaysys out of him.  Which resulted in the other four losing the plot as well.  The more upset they got the more er, hopeless me and Carol got.  I could hardly stand for laughing.  Especially when trying to cross the bridge.  The bridge in the tunnel with the lights going the other way so it felt like you were walking on the ceiling.  Ya ever try to walk a bridge the width of a dinner table with 3 kids attached to you? Well, it's not easy.  Got through that and ended up in a room where I could kind've see a face in the corner.  Asked the face if it was real.  The face replied 'I don't understand the question.  So I says 'I've no glasses on and the kids are terrified' whereupon the face says 'gotcha and bled back into the background.  Then someone grabbed my scarf and then I screamed.  Then everyone screamed and it was brilliant.  
Have attached photos of kids so you can see.  Carol giving out chocolate, Harry Potter fans will know that chocolate is great for a fright or an encounter with Dementors, only JUST managed to calm them down a bit.  Ha!  That'll be the last time they give me a hard time and keep telling me they're bored.
Carol went on the magic broom, doesn't she look fab.  My secret?  She's having another bubba!!  Fantastic stuff, so utterly thrilled for her and so utterly delighted it's not me! 
Mind you, it kind've backfired a bit as I ended up sharing a bed with all three of them last night as they were all too terrified to sleep alone.  
I think it was worth it though.  Go to Causey Farm, link below, as it's worth every muddy penny.
Hiding under the table from Cinderella, below. 
 Still hiding! 
 Fire Dancer.  Absolutely excellent, great taste in music too - Afro Celt Sound System I think
 After the Tunnel of Terror!!
 Poor Harry, poor Arthur hahahah
My mate Carol on her broomstick

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