03 October, 2011

No Pants Dance

Yeah, I'll get back to that.  But firstly . . . my lovely friend G. rang me today to see how I was.  Have decided to abandon facebook as I'm tired.  Tired and broke.  So fucking broke.  Car's shagged, boiler needs seeing to.  #1 is miserable and #2 is being kissed by a boy he doesn't like?!  The credit union aren't happy about giving me a moratorium on a loan I have (3 months not paying €300 would get me straight every which way - sad isn't it that being behind/struggling to catch up with bills to the tune of €1000 can fuck everything up so much) but instead seem to think me missing three payments and slating an excellent credit rating would be preferable.  So all of the above made me think 'fuck it, pull head in and chill'.
Then G. rang to see if I was okay.  I don't know what it is about that girl, I've only known her for a year and a bit, but she has this ability to make me laugh and be funny.  We laugh together and I always feel great when getting off the phone.  Have lots of other wonderful friends but G. does it for me every time.  Funny that.
She has her own problems, like stingy in-laws.   Let's not mention work and her hubby has just been made redundant but she rings me to check I'm okay and I love her for that.
So, she rang to check I was okay and then told me about this cake she has to do.  A 'No Pants Dance' cake.  WTF?????  Yup, apparently a big craze at the moment is to dance with your kacks around your knees so all the world can see your pants!  It's not enough to just show the waistband of  flashy boxers anymore (or your thong??) but instead you drop your trews and boogie.  
How?  Jesus. How do you dance with your trousers around your knees????  Why would you want to waddle like a penguin?  Has Mr. Poppers Penguins created a new dance craze?  
So funny.  So glad it's not me making the cake.  Wonder do people ever consider we're working with sugar and we're not I.L.M.  
Conversation then went on to how there are bars where the ladies (using that term as loosely as possible) hand in their knickers to the barman for free booze.  Seriously!!  If I handed my er, knickers into the barman I could have drinks for the entire night, week, one for everyone in fact.  Don't think they'd be that interested in my er, not so skimpies.  Those skimpy knickers were long ago resigned to the back of the knicker drawer.   
I remember, years ago, hearing of a 'thing' that was happening at Wesleys (rugby club), where there used to be a disco every week for teenagers (think it's still on in fact) where the girls wore their thongs around their wrists to show they were available for fun.  'What kind of fun?' I hear you ask?  Well, a pair of knickers wrapped around the girl's wrist meant she was available for blow jobs and anal sex.  Never vaginal sex as you might get pregnant.  I swear to God.  On nos. 1, 2 and 3's teddy bears.  What does the girl get out of this arrangement other than a bad name?

So.  Three cheers for all the wonderful friends I have.  Friends who would be furious I haven't confided in them and three cheers for G., for making me laugh and reminding me that it's the world that's mental and not me.

p.s. for a rough idea of the 'no pants dance' follow this.


  1. Jayus, what will they think of next. In fact I don't want to know!

  2. No Vicky, neither do I. Jesus??!!