It was the towels that got me in the end!

Yeah, the towels were the final straw.

Having travelled overnight and been awake for 32 hours I couldn't wait to have a shower when we got home from our recent holliers.  But there were no towels to dry myself with.  Only teeny hand towels that are, obviously, only big enough to dry one's hands on.  Where were all the towels??  The guest towels (you remember?  The ones we, the Geraghty 5, are not allowed use for fear of not having nice towels for guests - who never come) were gone.  Everything.  So I went over to the washing basket and found it stuffed with nearly every towel we owned and they were all wet.  WET?!  We'd been away for two and a half weeks, surely the house sitter (a sister of a good friend of mine) hadn't just kept taking out towels each and every time she showered and shoved them into the wash basket?  Either way, she was gone and I wanted a shower and there were no bloody towels.  How did I turn into her ma??

I had told her (and her fella) to treat the house like their own but I hadn't expected to come home and clean up after them, something they're apparently used to.

Yeah, the towels did it.  

Not the dirty dishes in the sink for me to clean or the dirty floors.  Or the hair dye all over my bathroom sink.  

I didn't even whimper when I had to clean a shower I never use (it's Himself's, the water pressure is wretched.  You practically have to stand under the dribble of water and turn yourself around and around, like a chicken on a spit, to get yourself wet all over).  Grught, is there anything worse than cleaning someone else's hair out of the plughole?  Or their fake tan off the tiles and floor??  Which, annoyingly enough, brings me back to the towels.  My, never used by us, guest towels are snow white with coloured threads running down one side.  They are proper bath sheets, the huge kind that make you feel small and safe.  Apparently.  I wouldn't know, I don't use them.  I'm saving them for guests.  Now though, they have fake tan on them and it's starting to stick in my craw.

I didn't cry aloud when I had to get out my toolbox and remove the pipe under the sink to unblock it as it was full of, I think, Chinese food. 

Which brings me to another thing.  

They couldn't cook.  Like, they couldn't cook anything.  From the looks of my, full, bin they seem to have lived on take away or beans on toast.  Or jars of stuff.  I don't care but ... Jesus.  They're in their early 20's.  Is it a generational thing?  I know when I used to house sit, for my lovely friend and neighbour G, I loved cooking and playing house.  We were also warned that if we ever gave the house back in a worse state than we got it we were dead.  This is the woman who once made me babysit for nearly a year to pay off a phone bill I ran up in her house.  Had to grovel after months and months of babysitting for some cash.  This was in the black and white days and I was only earning IR£2.00 an hour.  Still scarred.  

From the look of my bin they smoked a lot too.  Not my problem ... e x c e p t ....... I have a sneaking suspicious they smoke in my house and THAT pisses me off.

So lets see?  How's that list that started with 'towels' going:

• No towels.
• Dirty dishes in sink.
• Grotty upstairs bathroom.
• Full bins.
• Sticky floors and, oddly, a basin of dirty water by the back door with a mop in it.
• Smokin'

Now, the two biggies.  I'm not sure which one pisses me off more.  You tell me what you think.  I'd told them that the bathroom shower thing leaked if you weren't careful so perhaps they'd best not use it.  They did.  I didn't notice until later that, I'm sighing hard here, the ceiling under the bathroom is er, fucked.  Yup, at some point this week the insurance guys are coming out to asses the damage.  The plaster is soaked, the paint is bubbling and torn and the wall is stained.  

THEY NEVER SAID ANYTHING???  Do you think that's what all the towels were for?  Why didn't they say anything??  I've seen the girl once since and I said nothing to her because I had a friend here and I wasn't calm enough yet but she said nothing to me either.  Just said 'you look fantastic, how much do I owe you for duty free?'.  The plan was to give her the duty free as a gift but that plan changed.

The second thing.  They used my Beetle.  They took  my car and drove it around.  He has a provisional licence.  He wasn't insured.  THEY TOOK MY BLOODY CAR AND DROVE IT AROUND.  What's particularly funny about this is that when we got back Himself was having a canary because he couldn't remember where he'd stashed the car keys (bottom drawer in kitchen, in cake tin) and it took him an hour to find them.

They.  Took.  My.  Car.  Do you think if anything had've happened they would have told me?  Sneaking feeling that the answer is a resounding 'NO'.

So, back to the list:

• No towels.
• Dirty dishes in sink.
• Grotty, hair dyed upstairs en-suite.
• Full bins.
• Sticky floors and a dirty basin of water.
• Banjaxed water damaged ceiling in playroom.
• They took and drove my pride and joy.  
• Did I mention they dug out my laptop and used it?  I'd been told they were bringing their own.  Not that I have anything I wouldn't want anyone to see on it but still, right

What adds insult to injury is, I recommended them for minding my friends house.  WTF?????

Hopefully tomorrow I can say something to them.  Without ripping my hair out.

Please tell me that all twenty-something year olds aren't this inconsiderate of people's property and lives.  I thought I was doing them a favour.  They both live at home with their parents.  I thought they, as I did at the same age, would enjoy the chance to have as much sex as they could without the chance of anyone walking in on them and play house for two weeks.

Who am I kidding?  They obviously had a blast.  Just wish to the Gods they'd fucking looked after my home.
Do I sound really arsey?  Yeah?  Fine, that's because I am.  I'm bloody raging.  So, I've decided to compile a list of easy rules for those of you who feel like house sitting might be a bit of craic.  Jesus, you get free wi-fi, free utilities, as much sky tv as you can watch.  Never mind the 100's of cds and dvds we own.

1. If you use it, wash it and put it back where you got it.
2. If you make a mess, clean it bloody up.  You're not in your ma and da's house now.
3. Make yourself comfortable, you're meant to after all, but not at the expense of, in this case, ME!
4. Don't mess with people's stuff, because if they find out you used the M50 and they're gonna get fined for it you may end up with a foot wedged up your arse.
5. DON'T use their phone to ring your mates mobiles.  Seriously.  Don't!!
6. If you move it, move it back.  
7. Remember that no one likes coming home to a mess.  I know this sounds lame but it's true.