I was meant to be posting about chocolate but .. . this was funnier.
I. Hate. Spiders.
There are several posts here where I tell you of my highly amusing spidey dance - the one where I see a spider and leap around the place screaming like a big girl's blouse. However, I always tell the kids that spiders are good and without them it would be mayhem.
Last week, whilst reading nos. 2 and 3 a story one, as in 'one spider' not no. 1, ran across the floor. Myself and no. 2 both saw it and I said 'Mouse?' and no. 2 said 'No. Spider. Big spider!!'. I tried to continue with the story (about a dog called 'fleck') but couldn't concentrate so I got a glass and captured the spider. Himself got rid of it, always terrifed they'll get out of the glass and run up my arm or something.
Haha, years ago, when rescuing me from a spider, Himself threw it out the landing window. . . only for the wind to catch it and blow the bloody thing back in again. On. To. Me.
I think it took weeks for me to get over that.
Tonight though, I was downstairs when it sounded like all hell had broken loose. I ran upstairs to see what was going on and saw Himself wearing no. 3 like a hat!! I swear to god but he was sitting on Himelf's head, sobbing. No. 2 was standing on his bed screaming.
'What's wrong????' I roared. 'Spider' roared back Himself. 'It's not a 'spider' it's a GIANT spider' says no. 2.
You know what, they weren't lying. I'd volunteered to go down and get a glass while Himself tried to locate the beast - I think the sound of screaming had scared it, I came back up and was all cool and 'sure, it's only a spider lads' whereupon the yoke legged it out from under the bed and, get this, STOOD ON IT'S BACK LEGS!!! Kind've.
Jesus.
Got the glass over it and brought it downstairs. As Himself was upstairs it was up to me to get the spider out of the glass by removing the cardboard underneath it BUT stop the spider coming after me. So I threw the glass and the cardboard onto Billy's grass and legged it myself.
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