05 September, 2012

How do you eat yours?

I came across this picture on Pinterest a couple of weeks back and, when I first saw it, I kind've shouted out  'THAT'S NOT HOW YOU EAT IT!!!!'  The sad thing is, you no longer get KitKats in foil, bloody plastic stuff nowadays.  When I used to get kitkats you'd peel off the wrapper and then you'd run the face of your nail down the finger until the word kitkat appeared.  Then, if you were me, you'd break it up, one finger at a time and nibble the chocolate around the edges, then the choc off the top and then you'd eat the wafer.  If you were really lucky you might get a finger that was entirely chocolate.  You would never EVER, if you were in your right mind, bite into all four fingers at once.
I used to do that nail/foil thing with all chocolate bars.  Fry's chocolate creme (my ma's favourite), snack bars (my da's favourite) and any little bar you got in your lunchbox.  
If you were to give me a star bar, I would thank you profusely and then scuttle over to a corner to eat it without sharing.  I used to wriggle my tongue in to pull out all the peanut butter.  Or squeeze the paste out.  Drool.  My friend, K, used to open the bar, snip down the back of it, roll it open and eat the peanut butter before rolling the toffee and caramel up and eating that. Impact reckons that completely ruins the bloody bar and you should never dissect one, it's perfect as it is and the toffee and chocolate are mank without having the peanut butter to bring it all together.
No. 1 sucks all the chocolate off his malteasers and then drops the malt balls back into the bag for later.  Ms. G keeps her cadbury creme eggs in the freezer and eats them by dipping them into her tea first.  Grught.
We all eat Bounty bars the same way, we nibble off the chocolate and then suck the coconut filling to death.  Aaaaaaaaah, syrupy coconuty goodness.
Twix.  Hmm.  This one caused a row.  According to Himself the only way to eat a Twix is to take a bite and then fold the piece, you have in your mouth, over so that you have a kind've er, system where you have two toffee sides together.  Then you eat.  The rest of the world, i.e. me and most people I know eat them by going around the edge and biting off all the chocolate, then  using our teeth to peel off the toffee.  Finally you guzzle the biscuit.  Sometimes though, I think, Ms. G eats the biscuit first??  
You would always have sore cheeks and roof of mouth from eating apple drops.  One was never enough and they'd shrivel your mouth.    Why anyone would think to give a kid clove rock is beyond me but I had an aunt who regularly gave it to me.  Pah.
Haha, I remember going to Chester years ago to visit friends and we went to the Cathedral and for a wander around the town.  We found this old sweetshop and the boy who was going out with my mate at the time nearly peed his pants when he saw all the bon bons.  He wasn't allowed sweets as a kid.  Me?  I nearly wet my pants when I saw they had sugar mice.  I bought two.  Saved them for my Christmas stocking too.  I took great pleasure in taking it out of it's wrapper and biting into it's head and . . . bleugh, they are disgusting.  Pure sugar.  Gleugadjldfjlksdhf.  Bloody Peter Hennessy.
Years and yeas ago, back in the black and white days of the late seventies we used to buy most of our sweets from Roddy's shop in Sandymount.  You'd buy whatever you could afford (5p) and Mrs. Roddy, who always wore a housecoat, or her sister would wrap the sweets up in a twist of greaseproof paper.  God, happy days.  They sold swizel sticks and aniseed balls (a great bargain, you'd get two for a penny).  Bazooka Joe chewing gum and ...........sigh.
Anyway, one day Peter Hennessy turned up on the street, which was allowed as he lived next door to me, and he had a pink sugar mouse.  It cost 2p.  He held it up by it's string tail and slowly lowered it into his gob while we all looked on.  I hated that shite that day.  He bit off the mouse and pulled out the tail.  I begged and begged my ma for tuppence but she wouldn't give it to me.  I never got a sugar mouse.  Until a couple of years ago. I still have my mouses tail upstairs in a box, will baffle the lads if they ever have to sort out my stuff.
If you eat a custard cream do you bite off the top biscuit first before scraping the cream out with your teeth?  Himself bough chocolate covered Mikado biscuits for us a few days ago.  Yeah, they were chocolately and lovely but, . . . but you couldn't pull your finger down the middle and scrape out the jam.
If you eat a choc ice or magnum you have to bite all the chocolate off that too.  A cornetto . .. hmm, I never EVER managed to not bite the bottom of the cone before finishing the ice cream on top so it would be a big leaky mess.

No comments:

Post a Comment