28 November, 2012

Are you always honest?

"telling the truth isn’t always good,but lying isn’t always bad.if telling the truth make someone feels bad,lying can be good.good things can come from lying,bad things from the truth. although sometimes telling part of the truth is the same thing as telling a lie"

Anna Foster - Chasing Liberty

No. 2 tries hard not to be sometimes but you can see it eating him up, e.g. "Do these trousers suit me?"  Him:  "Yes . . . . do you like them?.... no, not really.  Sorry".
There are a few people in the world I cannot lie to.  Most people I can lie to without so much as blinking and it's really starting to bother me that there are those in my life whom I have to be completely honest with.  I mean, the lies I tell are little ones.  Can't be doing with the big ones, too hard to keep straight.  But the little ones are alright, aren't they??
One of my, consciences (for want of a better word), believes that any kind of lying is bad no matter how big or small the lie.  I disagree.
It's not so much lying, I think, as getting yourself out of a poxy situation.  Like, when I accidentally walked off with someones keys.  God, was mortified.  More mortified when, having told her all the places she should look(whilst a county away), I put my hand into my bag and . .  found her keys!!  You know, I even considered binning the bloody things rather than ring and say I have them?!?!  She told me if I had've binned them I would have eventually told her and she would be furious with me.  Thing is, if I had've binned them I wouldn't have told her because  it would have gone from 'lie' to 'secret'.  
Bollix anyway,
What happened was, she rang, I said no, don't have them and continued merrily on my way.  On way to collecting my car an hour later I put my hand into my bag and pulled our her keys.  Puce!!!
Panicked (why I don't know, I mean, what did I do in a past life that I am so afraid of saying 'hey, found your keys'??) and decided that when I got home, and if I convinced myself not to bin them, I would ring her and say 'found your keys'.  Which is exactly I did.  She was delighted to have her keys back and thrilled they were in my house and safe.  Also thrilled as it meant she didn't have to get every lock in the house changed.
So, why oh bloody why, did I have to tell her I knew I had them an hour before I told her I had them??  What was to be gained?  It's not the worse thing I've ever done . . . really?!  
She was thrilled to have her keys back, why the fuck did I have to go 'well, you know how I found your keys when I got home . . . . ?" two nights later? 
Yup, this woman is one of a handful of people who can read me so well I'm afraid to lie.  There's another one, a cake maker, who made a model and I said "love it" and, in my head went "fuck, it's  got wonky feet".  Is that lying?  Or being nice?  Either way, when she mentioned the cack feet herself I said/shouted "yes, yes, it's got brutal feet, what were you thinking???" 
Whilst telling the above two that I don't lie, much, I answered my phone with a "sorry, can't talk, in school collecting sick kid at the moment" whilst they just looked at each other and nodded.  Nodded in that way that friends do when you prove they are right.  Bastards.
I remember hearing of a man, either in the UK or States, who lived his life for 3 months without lying.  He was miserable.  Apparently it's amazing how many leeeetle lies we tell.  "Yeah, of course I don't mind not having sugar in my tea" - what's the point of tea without sugar??  "Your hair looks fab, don't worry" - Cackle,  you know who you are.  Er, what else?  "Love the new tattoo" - of course you hate it but they just scarred their bodies FOR LIFE with it.  "What mess?" - yeah, your house is a tip and I'm afraid to sit down. All of the above are little things that we/I lie over.  
I love the people with no sugar/crap hair/bad tattoos and slutty houses, they're my friends.  I bet they lie to me all the time.