07 May, 2013

Best Trier, sure isn't everyone a winner?!

You remember how schools got all PC and every kid had to win something because 'everyone is a winner'?  I have never, EVER, agreed with that.  You don't take part in something to come second, third or last you take part because you want to win, right?  That's what competition is.  That's what we tell the lads anyway.  Oh, and what's the point in trying to win if everyone else, including the fat kid with the wonky ankle gets a medal and she barely finished the fucking race due to an asthma attack.  
I am the fat kid with the wonky ankle and the asthma attack.  Seriously, I was laughing so hard at the end of tonight I couldn't catch my breath. 
I'm a member of a sugar craft guild and tonight I entered my SECOND competition with them.  The first one was at Christmas where I entered a Mrs. Claus cake.  A Mrs. Claus cake with a list as long as your arm hanging out of her pocket and a bottle of wine hidden behind her back and an ACTUAL HANGING FUCKING SANTA decoration dangling from her hand.  Yup, I entered and won . . . NOTHING.  Not bitter, no, not me.  Well, not much anyway.  
I am pissed off tonight though.  
Tonight I did win in the Guild competition.  The theme was summertime and I made the cake that you can see up there, see?  Top of the post.  Yup, a cake with sugar bunting and a bloody crab, instead of Santa ornament, hanging off said bunting.  I made sand, that looked like sand and not like crushed biscuit.  I made water that looks like water (AI, I took heed of your advice you see and made an Irish sea as opposed to my favoured Mediterranean sea).and I won a voucher for €40.  
Whoohooo, you'd think, right?  WRONG!  Everyone won!  There were only four fecking entries so the committee decided everyone is a winner and we should all get something nice.  
I.  Am.  The.  Best.  Trier.  
I wanna be the best caker.  I just want to win something, based on votes, because people fucking like it not because everyone is a sodding winner.
I am an idiot, I know.  I won something.  I should be happy but I want to win because I'm good not because I'm the fat kid with the wonky ankle and asthma and, sure, everyone is a winner.  

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