13 February, 2015


I follow quite a few science based Twitter accounts and Facebook pages.  Have learnt all sorts of lovely, and strange things.  Yesterday the strangest thing ever (okay, so not, ever) happened. 
Someone posted a photo of a galaxy and said it looked like a hand.  I said it looked like a bat (Remember, I'm shite at seeing those seeing eye pictures so . .  I could have been shite at seeing the hand too).  Whilst I was saying 'Bat' some woman said 'Hand of God' (praise the lord etc.) 
She thought, I can only assume, that I was being facetious with my comment and started laying into me for being disrespectful of her Christian beliefs??!
Yeah!!!  Seriously!
I told her I wasn't being disrespectful as I hadn't seen her 'Hand of God' remark (wonder is she a Maradona fan) and started on (and on) at me about how people like me are constantly putting down her Christian beliefs.  (Jesus, I said 'It looks like a bat').   .  ..   Yeah, people like me, etc. etc.  Smart A-holes who can't open our minds to the love of the Lord just make her sick to her gut.  
Couldn't resist.
I said that I was amused by Christians shouting at me for putting down their/her beliefs when she was pretty much doing likewise to mine.  (I said it looked like a bat for fucks sake).  I told her that I was happy for her to believe in Gods but, as of yet, no such Gods have ever been proven to exist and what we were looking at (a big galaxy in space!!) had been proven to exist because, like, duh, there it is!  Photographed by the  Hubble Telescope itself.
I don't know what pissed her off more, me saying 'Gods', cos there is only one true god right?  Or telling her she didn't exist, the Gods that is.
Well.  She told me "she hoped I was wearing a light shirt and had a bottle of ice water with me at all times because I was going straight to hell and Satan was going to fuck me in the ass".

Now, I've been to Turkey on holidays and one day it got to 45C IN THE SHADE.  I was wearing a light shirt and had, indeed a bottle of ice water, and fat lot of good they did me.  Shudder.  I swear it, my eyeballs dried out!!!  You could see the film of water evaporating.  Could have been hallucinating though, in retrospect.

I told her that her Christ must be very proud of her.  I swear, hand on heart, you could hear her head implode all the way over here, on this side of the Atlantic.


p.s. AND, AND!!!!!  How does a woman, who cannot say Asshole without feeling rude tell me I'm going to get fucked by the divil himself?   

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