Spent most of yesterday

trying to finish all the stuff I started earlier in the week when it was raining.  Finish cleaning the house basically.  FAIL!!  Woke up in bad form after a bad nights sleep (went to bed too late - frickin WW and then couldn't sleep cos it's too humid, actually thought I was going through the change) to find Oz standing over me asking 'can you come down and turn on Little Big Planet?'  I've said before how much I love this game but the kids are obsessed now.  His FIRST words to me this morning were about a bloody game.  Jesus!  Not even a 'good morning' but can we play the game.  Told him to piss off and rolled over.  It was only 8.30 and the only day I don't have the borrowed boy.  Didn't manage to fall asleep so decided to get up and do what has to be done.  So . . .

1. Fed kids and myself
2. Cleaned d/stairs loo of all pee stains.
3. Went to Supermarket - wth 3 kids that is an achievement that warrants a star for me.  The lady on the till was dead impressed with my making them stand at the wall with their hands in their pockets whilst I packed and paid.  She helped.  She was very nice.
4. Chemist, got deadly gizmo that gives you a teeeny (though Darren disagrees) electric shock to help stop a sting stinging.  Whatever that sting may be.  Hey BEE, geddit??  Or nettle, whatever.  Also got lots of hayfever stuff as I can't stop sneezing.
5. Home via Gwen's house where I got her to scare the shit out of the youngest two by telling them about a funeral she went to off little boys who made their mammy crash the car by screaming and messing in the back.  Cruel but hopefully effective.  Then Gwen, without realising it, gave me my next thing to do.
6. Cleaned the roof of the beetle.  Had asked Darren to do it as he is the one who drives it most but .. . . . . well, what can I say?  I cleaned the roof of the beetle.  Got all the mossy stuff off but none of the little white things.  Cleaning the roof lead to
7. Cleaning the d/stairs loo AGAIN as the fucking hose came off the tap and water went everywhere.
8. Whilst trying to do this L arrived to talk about the wedding cake we're doing together.  Whereupon she offered to put away the messages and make everyone some lunch.  She's brilliant.  Not surprising really as she is Carol's wonderful unidentical twin sister.

Asked the kids for 30 minutes so we could go through the cake stuff as it seems to have snuck up on me.  Thought it was due in August alright but didn't realise August was only a week away.  Meant to be taking it a bit easy too.  Oh well. 

Anyway, asked kids for 30 minutes whereupon they immediately started hassling me for attention.  Harry wanted to make some Angel Delight but needed help.  Oz and Art were pissed off because of something else.  Harry then wanted to make everyone a cup of tea (nice thought mate but LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 30 MINUTES!!) and then decided he wanted one of the biscuits I had started stress eating.  Lost the plot and told everyone to get out of the room.  Go into the playroom I yelled.  Leave me alone I yelled.  Harry started crying.  I turned back to L and she asked was I okay.  AAAAAaaagh.  Said I was and she wasn't stressing me it was just everyhing else and maybe if I didn't keep getting distracted and cleared one thing away before starting on something else e.g. put messages away before cleaning car, give kids a proper distraction before sitting down with L, clearing away before trying to make lunch etc. life might be easier for me.  Yeah, yeah,  Darren.  I know.  I know!  You tell me this every day!!!!

Worked through cake a bit before being overcome with guilt, called Harry in and apologised.  Looked up to see L was crying (she's very pregnant) listening to me explain myself to Harry.  Too much.

Lunch for everyone.  Bye bye L.  And off to Toy Story 3.

That's when I started crying.  From the moment the film opened (with Andy being measured against the door frame - we do it here on the first day of school every year ) to the closing scenes I howled.  I know I was saying earlier in the day that I'm sick of trilogies but some trilogies are real trilogies.  Y'know, a beginning one, a middle one and the end one.  This is one of those ones.  It's fantastic.  Really.  Made me feel guilty for every toy I've ever gotten rid of and also made me sad for not spending more 'quality' time with the lads.  They're going to grow up and leave!!!!!!  Okay, so no time soon but it will happen.  Why, in the name of Jesus, is it all so hard to fucking manage (Disney would turn in his grave - if he had one, at all this swearing amidst toy story 3 stuff,  Oooh, great Disney trivia.  He's rumoured to having been cryogenically frozen, right.  One of his employees at the time is said to have said 'it's the warmest he's ever been').  I love my kids to bits, would die for them.  So why are they so hard to . . . there are so many of them and they all want a piece of me.  At the same time!!  There are no prizes for keeping a clean/tidy house nor are there any prizes for raising healthy happy kids.  So, why oh why do I make it so hard for myself.  Why can't I just be.  Y'know?  Just enjoy it right here, right now.  Accept that kids fight and it's not be my job to constantly sort it out.  Nor is it my job to keep my house dustfree constantly.  Who knows?  All I know is that by the end of today I'll have stepped between at least 7 fights (2 involving them thumping each other), cooked variations of the same meal 4 times and cuddled only a few times.  They're at it now.  I can hear them.  'My game.  My rules'.  Cup of tea I think.

p.s. Go see Toy Story 3.  It's wonderful.  Visually.  Story.  Wonderful.