26 August, 2010

I have something to tell you

I have this great uncle.  His name is . . . well, let's call him B.  He rocks.  He's originally from Ireland but has lived on the West Coast of America or so long you'd never in a million years know he was Irish.  He is pretty much 70% proof Jameson Whiskey and his doctor has advised him that 'whatever'he is doing to keep doing it as it's obviously doing him good.  That 'whatever' would be smoking, drinking and playing golf and backing the odd horse.
So, the other night he says:
"...... yeah, well I was banging this broad, she was in her early fifties and she knew how to go.  Then a few weeks later she turned up and said "B, we gotta talk.  I think I'm pregnant!"  I was like 'fuck, holy shit man.  It took a few minutes to get that she was winding me up.  Whatta dame."
He's 77!!!!!!!!  He also knows how big his willy is, cos it does still work.  Now I do too.  It's 7 inches and 5/8s.  Yeah, theres something to know about your uncle.
I love my uncle B.  Long may he continue.

2 comments:

  1. PAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Funniest thing i have ever read!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!

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  2. I'm telling you. He's insane but I love him to bits. I want to be him, or the female version of him, when I'm older. He rocks my world.

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