25 September, 2010

Yeah, get yourself an Irish Girlfriend????

The other night I woke to the sound of a row.  Next door.  Ouch.  Don't you just hate it when you hear a couple argue?  I do as it reminds me that I too can be heard shouting next door. 
Anyway, there is a lovely chap next door and he really is lovely.  He also has a thing for Brazillian girls.  The last one was lovely, she had an Irish name and was really lovely.  He broke up with her when she was safely home.  In Brazil!
So, the latest one.  She seems a bit tempestuous but anyway, they had a row, he chucked her out. She went mental.  I came down to see what was going on only to hear the front door slam.  Phew, she's back inside.  Only then I saw my neighbour 'waving' (sounds friendly 'waving' - perhaps I should write 'frantically trying to get my attention) at me, she legged it across the road and told me she was worried.  I said 'fuck it' and knocked next door.  The lovely chap opened the door and said 'I don't know what to do with her, she won't stop raging.  She won't go home'.  Told him to go in to my house and went through his house calling for the Brazillian.  Found her.  Fuck but she was gorgeous.  The kind've gorgeous that makes you realise that you really should've got properly dressed before offering to help out.  Hmmm, remember how, when you were little, your ma would say 'always wear nice knickers', just in case you were hit by a bus or something?  Well, one of those 'somethings' is coming up against a Brazillian beauty whilst wearing knickers that really have seen better summers and your hubbies fleece.  A fleece that just about covers the knackered knickers.  Oh, but the shame.
Told her that if the lovely chap was being mean she should just get the hell out of dodge.  Told him if his girlfriend was a pyscho he should get the hell out of dodge.  He said thanks.  She said 'who are you?' whilst sneering at my fine Irish legs and then all was good.  Also told him, quietly, if you're going to chuck your girlfriend out make sure you give her her handbag and shoes.  Makes life much simpler if one has a way and the means to get home don't you think?
The lovely chap came in yesterday to say thanks and apologise.  I also had to apologise as, c'mon!!!  Who wants a nearly naked neighbour sorting your fights out.  We had a laugh about it, he is a lovely chap and then I suggested he find himself a nice calm Irish girl.  He looked at me.  And, there and then, I could see him comparing the vision in front of him last night.  Irish girl (cough, women) with fine mammy legs, chipped nail varnish and dodgy knickers and the Brazillian Beauty.  Hmmm, he giggled.  I cracked up.  I also realise I did Irish girls no favours. 

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