06 April, 2012

I'm a laydeeeee

Was chatting to a friend today about er, embarrassing things that happen.  She did a gentle fart and . . . worst nightmare . . . (to quote Himself) she 'followed through'.  Thankfully she was in the house and no one was around to bear witness.  What's especially funny about this is, if you could see her, she's gorgeous.  Tall, slim, great accent and very, very ladylike.  She doesn't even fart in front of her husband.  If she needs to, she waits until he's asleep.  Sweet.
Which reminded me of something that happened years ago when we lived in our first house.  I was pregnant on no. 1 and had been to my friend Gill's house for dinner.  She's a vegetarian and made a lentil roast thing for us all and it was delicious.  Only problem was . . . it didn't agree with my rather round belly and bizarre bowels.
Later that night, when in bed, I was wide awake (the boy usually awoke and practiced his moves at 3am) and Himself was fast asleep.  Unconscious in fact.  
Then.  I farted.  I was noxious.  It was so awful I couldn't stop laughing.  
Himself suddenly catapulted out of bed.  His body, reacting to the stench, twitched clean out of the bed.  He maintains 'his body was trying to save him'.  
I blamed it on him.  He nearly believed me for a minute.  Well, a couple of seconds.  I only went and did it again.

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