No.

No. 3 a.k.a. Arthur walked in on me and Himself talking the other morning.  It was 7.30am and I had just woken up.  Was so freshly woken up that I was having a hard time working out what was real and what was er, not.

I turned to Darren and said 'Is Arthur ours?  Did we foster him?  I have a feeling his parents want him back!!?"  Needless to say, Arthur was standing in the doorway with his mouth hanging going "WHAT???"  "I'M ADOPTED????"  

Jaysus, of course he's not adopted.  At 7.30am the other morning though I wasn't so sure.  Poor chap. 

So, Arthur, YOU.  ARE.  NOT.  ADOPTED!  Okay?!

When he was coming out of school his teacher pulled me aside and said "Arthur's been asking me about adoption today and if he is adopted".  Sigh.  I am so fucked.  He will need years of counselling after this.  Especially as the other two are always telling him he's a mistake.  Sorry, accident.  I have charming children. He was a bit of a surprise I'll admit but what a lovely one he turned out to be.  Only one out of the three of them to eat and sleep and not whhhhhhhhiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne all the time.  

Oh, to top off worrying Arthur that morning I, in a big rush, chucked a big basin of water over the windscreen to melt the ice .   .. . only to have the bastarding wipers activate and swoooosh the water right back at me.  A whole two litres of it.  The kids were wetting themselves laughing in the car.  I did that girlie squeal thing that one does when suddenly drenched with cold water on a day averaging a temperature of 1.5C and shivered.  Worth it, I think, for the kids reaction.  Not good for the hair though.  

Later on. . . when things had quietened down and dinner was being eaten the middle chap asked  'What's a wet dream?"  Ah jesus, no.  Please, no.  Not yet.  Darren said he'd tell him when he was a bit older but Oz kept looking at me and saying 'Mam?' because he knows I babble when I'm freaking out.  So, he kept saying 'Mam??' and I ended up saying:

"it'swhenyourwillyleaksabitanditkind'vefeelsniceiIthinkandyou'llbeasleepanddon'tworryaboutitloveasitwon'thappenforagesyet..................................sob"  

First beer of the week was well and truly in order, I think you'll agree.