14 August, 2013

London Baby - Day 1

It pissed rain.  I mean, PISSED rain.  The kind've rain you expect when the end of the world is nigh.  Wish it had've been psising rain before we left the house, that way we might have been prepared.  I had booked us a Hop on Hop off tour of London.  We had it booked for this day.  This pissing down with rain day.
Thankfully by the time we found Cockspur Street (kids were in kinds over the name: No.1:  COCKspur Street.  No.2:  Mam, where is COCKspur street.  No. 3: I would love to live on . .  hey, what's that?  Mam, there is a huge COCK over there!!!!"
Yeah, fun and games.  Oh, incidentally, there was a huge cock over there.  A giant blue one to be precise.  He is the piece of art on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square for the next wee while.  Biggest, bluest cock I've ever seen.  Balls, now I'm at it.
Anyway, it took me ages to find cockspur street and, by the time we did, the rain had almost stopped but we were soaked.  This, despite our new plastic bag overcoat thingies and brand new umbrellas.
We went to the building across the way and off we went, our tour of London was about to begin  . . in a moment . . . when the traffic clears . . . any second now.  Holy Jesus, it took us an hour to get around three corners.  Was grand though as the guide was lovely.  Actually, would really recommend that tour.  Discount London do a deal where you can buy various attractions all in the one go and avail of er, discounts.  Buyer beware though, the boat trip wasn't as expected.  From one pier to the next ain't what I was expecting.  Sun was out though and No.2 only had a minor meltdown at the thoughts of getting on a boat.  Jesus, we were only off it and he wanted to go on it again.  

  Their nana and granddad had given them £30 to spend on their hols.  They ate it!!  I kind you not, all they bought for themselves was food.  No matter how much I filled them they wanted more.  Turns out I had a 'one a day' limit on icecreams that cost four quid!  We went to the Burrough Market and it was fantastic.  Food was gorgeous, we got these beautiful little coconut pancakes off a woman there, so beautiful they never managed to have their photograph taken.  
I also had THE most expensive piddle ever, in my entire life at the church there.  I was bursting and there didn't appear to be any public loos so I went into the church, made a £3 donation and found the loo . . . where I had to give another £2 before I was allowed pee.  "It's for the Church" he said.  Harrumph.  

p.s. I found my way around the Underground!!!!  Whooohoooo.  Mind you, I spent the entire week (before we went) studying it.  Cackle.

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