13 June, 2014

Ha! It really does catch crumbs!

I was chatting to Karen earlier and, I have no idea how, but pubic hair came up.  She prefers the clean look, I like the clean look but . . am lazy and forget to get waxed (on purpose) so, cackle, can be a bit bouffant at times.  She reckons we don't need it at all and I said 'we do, for keeping germs and stuff out'.  According to herself, and she's a doctor of some sorts, that's shite.  
So we googled it.  It does keep stuff out (not puppies, hedgehogs and crumbs but things like herpes?!).  Who knew??  Yup, apparently keeping it all clean down there is leaving skin and teeny, tiny cuts cuts exposed which makes it easier for you to catch stuff (not puppies or crumbs mind).
Pubic hair also acts as a buffer and prevents friction injuries?!  Don't know what that person gets up to but . .  friction injuries?  I do like the idea of not being the victim of friction injuries so that's another reason for me to keep my (as Mabel calls it) full bush.  Cackle, always think that term 'bush' is very Jilly Cooper.  
I once got accidentally hollywooded.  How in the name of Jesus I ended up with a bald yoohoo is beyond me but I did.  I thought I was asking for a Brazilian but nope, I had it all whipped off.  According to the beautician, who I know well (now I know her even better) I have a beautiful labia!  Even Himself has never said that to me.  Yup, apparently I am very symmetrical.  Wish the rest of me was.  I came home from that waxing, red in face, light of pocket and showed it to Himself.  He was intrigued and would happily have played for hours but . .  it was so sore.  It was sore for days.  Then it was itchy for days.  Oh the humanity.
Never again.
So Karen is one for whom less is more and me?  I'm for the easiest, less itchy option.
I once got chatting to a mate of my brother and, again, (how?) pubic hair came up.  He said he preferred them to look natural.  I was astounded until I realised that he was 21 and natural, to him, was bald as a coot to me.  Apparently he keeps himself very bald there too.  He's a back, sack and crack man.  
Shudder, when you have a Hollywood they wax your bum too.  Nothing like having hot waxed slathered there to make you ponder the reason to life.
I don't like smooth men.  Himself, as you may know, was knit.  It looks like two of my sons are going to turn out to having been knit too.  I like it.  Okay, so the first time I saw Himself naked I nearly shat myself but . .  the two times he got his back waxed . .  nah, it wasn't for me.  Didn't feel like him.  Cackle, people are forever remarking on the fact that he only ever ventures outside in t-shirts and a hoodie, even in the depths of winter without feeling the cold.  Of course he doesn't, he has his whole gorilla thing going on.
Mind you, I do occasionally worry that one day myself and Himself are going to end up velcroed together.  I shall go for a tidy lady garden if you don't mind, but not a bald one.  Never a bald one.

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