11 November, 2011

Why the long face? Oh yeah, rape is not funny.

I've been thinking about this post for a while now.  Wasn't sure if I was going to go with it but, well, it's been bothering me.  Bothering me for two reasons.  The first being: I said nothing, I just left the room.  Secondly: I respected this person and they have dropped by a fucking mile in my estimation. 
I told a couple of friends about this because I wasn't sure if it were just me.  It would appear that, no, it's not just me.  Some things you just DON'T JOKE ABOUT, no matter how frickin' immature you are or no matter how desperate you are to impress people.
I don't even think they read this blog but I don't mind, it's not for them.  It's for me.  An apology to . . . I don't know, whatever, but an apology nonetheless for staying quiet and not pointing out that the 'mouth' in question was a complete and utter arsehole.  I will, however, be forwarding a link to them.  I cannot speak to them for fear of my desire to smash their face in.
Sitting in company, mixed company a woman said 'a report has been done that has proven that faking pleasure whilst being raped will dissuade the attacker from continuing on with his attack'.  I heard this and my head snapped around, as if on elastic, and I dismissed it as a load of bollix.  "Jesus", I thought "Pretend you're enjoying it???  WTF??"  
But later someone picked it up and ran with it.  They said "I know what new job I'll get".  "I'll get a job teaching women how to fake an orgasm when being raped".  Huge howls of laughter all around.  "Oooh baby, yeah baby."
I left the room.
The following day they were still joking about it and 'faking' away good-oh.  I still said nothing.
The reason I said nothing is because I was so disgusted by that person and felt so let down by that person I genuinely couldn't bring myself to say anything to them.  Nothing at all.  Not goodbye, hello. . . nothing.
What horrified me is that I thought I knew them really well.  
I thought they were an adult and mature. 
I thought wrong. 
So, fucko, here's the thing with it  416 people (men and women but mostly women) were raped in Ireland this year.  That's 416 people whose lives were destroyed.  The year isn't even over yet.
Because I associate rape as a crime against women (and I do know it's not) I'm going to continue in a female vein.  That's 416 women, daughters, cousins, nieces, wives, sisters, mothers, friend's lives who have ruined.
Tell them they should have fucking faked their way through it.  "Oh baby, baby". Tell them, that in their terror, that in their desire to simply survive, they should have pretend they were making love with their husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, lover . .  whatever.  Yes, you tell them that the best way to survive is to act like you're loving it.
You, my friend, know who you are.  And I am determined you shall read this.  I am determined that you think of your wife, sisters, sisters-in-law, friends, cousins, nieces, nephews, your own daughters.  I am determined that, if nothing else, the last conversation we chose to have together is one where I tell you what a fuckwit you are.  What an ill-educated, immature fuckwit you are.
Follow the link to Dublin Rape Crisis Centre and read the survivors accounts.  Read of the men and women who took their own lives because of this appalling crime.  
Fuckwit.  Rape is NEVER a topic for fun.  Rape is never a joke.  It is a serious crime and those who survive are wonderful and heroes in my eyes.
You, my friend, are an arse.  An idiot.  I didn't challenge you the night in question because if I had've, it would have been the straw that broke the camel's back.  I love a laugh, really love a laugh.  Have a wicked sense of humour I'm told but you weren't funny.  Several times I looked at you and wondered why?  How?  I do know that if my sons ever carried on the way you did I'd take them off this planet myself.  Cheap laughs are, cheap!!  I remember seeing Tommy Tiernan a couple of years back and he was earning his fee by taking the piss out of the homeless and the handicapped.  I went off him that day.  Never watched him again.  He'd been really funny up until that point but then the laughs he went after. . . well, not funny.  No fun in poking fun at those who cannot defend themselves.  Jesus, it wasn't satire or irony it was just shit.
I like to think that this wasn't 'really you' and that you were trying to impress people.  But, really????  If your friends are impressed by that kind've talk I guess I'm not impressed with your friends.  Think before you speak and learn some bloody respect.  You weren't big.  You weren't smart and you were far from clever.  
p.s. Next time you're joking about rape, picture the one you love most in the world.

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