11 December, 2011


Yeah, seriously!!  No. 2 is making his First Holy Communion next May.  I don't think I can go to mass every Sunday between now and then.  Please say I don't have to!!  Please?
Woke up this morning, 10am, with a coca cola hangover.  What's that all about anyway? You go out, you behave and drive (even though there is some fairly fabulous champagne on offer) and drink coke all night but you still end up with a hangover??  Is it the sugar do you think?  Either way it's pants, bloody pants.
Actually, last night was the Cake Buddies night out.  Our first Christmas Party and it was fabulous.  Started off in Ms. MacC's house where she'd laid on canapes and champagne.  The canapes rocked, looked like the champagne rocked too.  Fell in love with her house and her Christmas tree, especially the Christmas tree, and the kitchen and .. . then I saw it.  The doll!!  She has a doll hidden behind a door, hidden so you don't see it until you're stood beside the wretched thing.  Hate dolls.
Then off to the restaurant and food, laughs and no one spoke about cake until they were hammered.  I could tell you what went on during our Christmas night out but .. . . what happens on the night out stays on the night out.  I will say:  Ms. K has fabulous legs.  Ms. D is one to be very much admired.  Ms. G really struggled in that dress but it was a fabulous dress so I reckon it was worth the struggle.  I looked like I was wearing a wig - something weird is happening with my hair and we ALL got way too excited over litre bottles of Vanilla Extract.  WAY too excited.  Oh, and they haven't invented a bra with a hidden pocket to hold your cash whilst you're out dancing - it's a nursing bra!  Oh and Ms. MacC, despite her demure exterior, is a stocking wearing hussy.  
What else?  We ate, drank and laughed and all was good.
Until this morning.
When I had to peel myself out of bed and go to Mass.
I did it with No. 1 but it didn't seem to bother me as much then but it really is bothering me now.  It bothered me when we went to our first meeting (for no. 2) and the priest said 'I've given a prayer card with each and every child's name on it to a member of the parish.  They're going to pray for your son/daughter in this important year'.  WTF????????  Pray for what?  Pray for . . . I dunno but bloody hell (man).  At that meeting my lovely friend K held me back but . . . c'mon.  They're only 7.  What 'praying for' do they need?  Pah.
So this morning me and he got to church ten minutes early and I caught up with all the news with one of my friend's mams and it was great.  Then a man sat in the bench between us and that was the end of that.  Fr. F. is, no doubt, a lovely man but his voice goes through my brain.  THROUGH MY BRAIN!!  He means well and the kids love him but he makes me want to poke my eyes out.  He sounds, according to no. 1, like the voice off your Sat Nav.  With a bit of a Dub accent.  
He called the kids up to gather around whilst they prayed.  Then he sent them back down.  He then called them back up again to sing the Lord's Prayer and then sent them back down again.  What I found hard to take was the fact that all the kids look so into it.  I don't think it does kids any harm to have something to believe in but do I have to sit through it too?  Again?!  Himself is not getting involved.  He'll go to the Communion but not Mass.  Don't get me started on the First Confession.  No. 2 asked about that and said 'what am I meant to confess?'.  Er?  Being a shit to your brother and er, eating all the biscuits.  What a crock of shit.
When it was all over and we'd listened to the VdeP man talking about how they needed donations (no problems) and how they made sure the good people of Malahide's money only went to those who needed in voucher form (like, seriously????  I know you get those who cannot be responsible for themselves never mind kids but .... a bit demoralising don't you think?  You have nothing and are given paper to go into shops to buy shoes or whatever therefore letting everyone know you have nothing.) and stood up and sat down a lot, Oz asked why I wouldn't kneel I lied and said 'my ankle is sore' rather than 'I refuse to bow before a man'.  
Anyway, after it was over I asked no. 2 what he thought of it all.

"...er, yeah, it's all a bit boring really isn't it?  All that standing, sitting, standing, running up, running down, kneeling stuff.  Y'know Mam, I think once a month is fine . . ."

Hey Oz, I'm with you on that.

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