A list

A list of things that .. . well, baffle me?

• Why??  Why, everytime I go into a loo (any loo - we have three) is there never EVER any toilet roll on the holder?
• Why don't I ever frickn' notice until I've done what I've needed to do?
• (Still with the toilets) Why did I not think that it was insane to clean two loos on a Tuesday when friends aren't coming until Saturday?  Perhaps you lot clean your loos every day, I've started to only do it when it looks like a swamp, sorry, smells like a swamp.
• How having only done a cull a couple of weeks ago do I still have SIXTEEN odd socks?  I got rid of all the odd socks three weeks ago, I'd been hanging on to them for months to be sure (super sure) that their mates were really gone.  Yet here I am . . . the owner of another sixteen odd socks.  Damn it.
• How come, no matter how many times you hoover the floors, there is still popcorn on it to taunt you when you're trying to watch Modern Family?
• Himself snoring.  Damn.  Because we have friends coming for dinner tomorrow I've made the Guest Room (hahahah) look lovely and inviting and changed the bed linen etc. which means Himself can't be sent there in the middle of the night as he sheds (he was knit you see).  Why did I sort that room out on Tuesday when it wasn't to be used until Saturday??? 
• Why, a day after I do the big shop, is the fridge empty?
• Why are young boys never full?
• How many jaffa cakes can a kid eat without feeling sick?
• Oh, reminder to self, I am making a 21st cake for three friends.  Their names: Paul, Mark and Gary.  I have to remember to tell Ms. C that.  
• Why I can't I remember to take it s-l-o-w-l-y when I find a book I'm really enjoying?  I've just finished one and I loved it, shame I only bought it yesterday.  
• How is it I can't hear my phone ringing but I can hear the yellow snack bars calling from the press?
• The press they've been hidden at the back of, btw, to stop the lads finding them.  
• How come Sky never series link the last episode of something you love?  E.g. Call the Midwife and I'll take Manhattan (twice!!!  It missed the last one twice!).
• Why do I find making lists so soothing?
• And, finally, why oh bloody why when I have money in my pocket is there nothing in the shops I want to wear?  That is so unfair.  When I'm broke (usual state) there is stuff everywhere that I like but when I have a couple of quid?  Nothing.  As a result I bought myself a new book and a ball for Billy (the dog) which means I am slowly chipping away at my clothing fund ('fund', that's so funny.  It sounds like I'm loaded).