I have a greetings card that says .. .

. . . "I love my rotten, ungrateful children'.  I bought it for myself because it made me smile.  

Meh.

Today I really, really mislike my  rotten, ungrateful children and husband.  I'm coming up to a busy time, Communions, and have spent the past few days prepping bits to go on the cakes and making chocolate biscuit cakes.  

Yesterday I spent the guts of the day cleaning the downstairs of the house and asking Himself to help me rehang a mirror that weighs as much as no.2.  "Yeah" he says which roughly translates into 'look, you're going to get pissed off asking me so why not save yourself the trouble and ask a friend'.  

Today, because the upcoming week is going to be crazy I stayed in bed a bit longer as I have a frickin' migraine that refuses to budge and because I'm tired.  Then I got up and just did kid stuff (have a lovely recipe I'm meant to be posting but am too sodding peeved to do nice stuff) like baking, filming them and playing with their diablos.  Then I made a lasagna from scratch that no-one ate.  Himself came in halfway through the making of the lasagna and the cleaning up and offered to make me a cup of tea which he then smashed on the floor because he went out for a pint with his brother and mates.

He rarely goes out so I genuinely don't mind when he does.  I just hate it when he comes back messy and kind've pissed.  I don't like drunk people.  Especially those who say 'You're nice, you know that?'.  Jesus, what happened to 'I love you, I do'?  

I got myself so wound up over the tea on the just washing feckin' floors I could feel myself starting to sizzle.  

I went into the playroom to get something and it was trashed.  And I do mean TRASHED!!  My darling children seem to have forgotten that I am their ma and have reduced me to their bloody skivvy.  Don't get me wrong, I know they're only 11, 8 and nearly 7 but FFS, can they not pick up something after they're finished with it?  How many cups do they need for juice?  Is it that bloody hard to bring them back into the kitchen rather than kick them under the sofa?

Seriously, I am as close as I have ever been to wanting to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

So, right now, they are in there bickering over the pile of toys I have left in the middle of the floor.  These are toys that I have no idea where to put and they have ten minutes to work it out themselves or they're for the bin. They're actually arguing.

Bastards.

So, to get it out of my system I have decided to write down what's pissing me off.  You may relate or you may just think I'm sodding crazy.  Either way, I don't care. I've got to get it off my chest as I may scream.  Or kill something.  I've already fecked a broken DS at the wall.  Something very satisfying about hearing something splinter.  Even better when it's not yours.  Hey, I'm allowed have my put upon arsey days too.

1. Picking up the same toys over and bloody over.
2. Finding 15, FIFTEEN, items of 'non dress' up clothes in the dress up box.  
3. Finding 5 cups under the sofa.
4. Finding a pair of my knickers in the dress up box????  They were red, maybe it was a superman thing but . .  my knickers are massive.  Shit, maybe no. 2 was using them for a sail?!
5. Washing floors. Over.  And.  Over.  And.  Over.
6. Dust!  WTF?
7. Himself being able to teach no. 1 how to score a great goal but being completely incapable of teaching him how to clean his football boots.
8. No. 3 saying 'it's not fair' when I ask him to help pick up his shoes.  HIS shoes.
9. Ten thousand million colouring pencils, pens, crayons etc.  Seriously??
10. Why is it that I, who has a million caps to wear e.g. chauffeur, car cleaner, nurse, chef, teacher, chamber maid etc., am the one who has to do all the shit every day?
11. I've been asked to consider taking on a blog job.  One where I'd actually earn something and I don't know if I'll have time.  No. 1 is dead excited over me possibly doing it as it means cars (it's to do with cars) but all I can think of is 'when will I fit wiping piss of the toilet seat into my day?
12. Finding a skylander wedged down the back of the sofa, with two missing remote controls, which I had to replace a week ago because 'it's gone forever, my life is overrrrrrr, I'll never finish the game now'.  
13. Going into the loo for a quiet minute to think 'I hate the little fuckers' only to notice that a. we still haven't hung that mirror, b. no. 2 has six jackets in the loo and three of them are on the floor and c. someone pissed on the bloody toilet seat.

I want to cake but I'm afraid to.   I 'm too cross to do gentle stuff which means I'll have to work like a, er, mother for the next three days to get everything down.  We have people coming to stay for a day or two at the weekend.  We also have no. 2's communion which means 40 people to feed and entertain and . . clean up after. 

Yeah, I'm angry and pissed off and tired of being looked at like I have 10 heads when I say 'pick up your bloody socks!!!'