Toxic

I had to go to the doctor a couple of weeks back as I combined swimming and flying in the same day which resulted in my having both an inner and outer ear infection.  I love going to the doctors.  I turn my phone off, wait for ages beyond when I was meant to be seen and have loads of magazines to read.

In these recessionary times one of the first things to go for me was magazines.  It's a real treat to get one nowadays.  Fecking killer, though, when I fork out six quid and discover that Mrs. C has bought the same one.  

I digress.  I came across this article about 'Toxic Women'  which could be translated into either toxic people or toxic friends and it was brilliant.  I hope to God though that I'm not a toxic friend.  I have my moments though, were I could bitch for Ireland.  But they are mostly 'moments'.

Toxic people are those who never EVER have a good word to say about anyone.  They perceive that everyone is better than them and therefore never say anything nice about them..  Toxic women are, quite simply, jealous of everyone around them.  They believe that everyone is slimmer, more successful, happier, richer and on and on and yawn than them.  So, they bitch about them.  They try and drag them down by conducting a quiet little campaign along the lines of 'she looks very drawn, don't you think?' when someone loses a couple of pounds or 'Hmmm, well, of course the business is going well.  She's always working . . . lucky she has such a great husband to take up the slack'.  

You know??

I'm lucky, I only, I think, have one person in my life like that.  I think I have it under control.  When they start I just 'mmm mmm' and don't commit.  I am trying to be brave and speak up when they start by saying 'er, I don't agree and I don't we should be making assumptions about them behind their back' but so far . .. yeah, not said anything like that.  I limit the time I spend with them too, which is kind've crap as, when she is being nice, I really enjoy her company.  Mostly though she just makes me tired.  And worried, don't want to go down the toxic route myself and it's very easily done.  Plus, you know how I am with will power!!

I get envious of people alright but I wouldn't want their livse.  I know people look at us here sometimes and think 'blah, blah, blah' but they don't know what's going on here.

Like?  Right now, thanks to a dozen coincidences lately, I am really missing my ma.  I would rather have her and dad back than be mortgage free.  Although, dead parents (once you've had a decade to nearly get over the loss) do allow you to breathe a little bit more easily.  Fuck, if they were alive we'd be on the street.  Looking sorry for ourselves.

I'd also rather have Himself out working than here so we can 'always be out having coffee'.  We're not.  Maybe twice a week.  Whooohooooo, we spend a tenner a week on entertaining ourselves.  

Oh dear, getting toxic myself.  

Time to sign off.  Going to watch Home on the Range with one soaking wet son and one noodle buying and eating one.