Shit

Shit.  And yet more shit.

Jesus, but bloody hell the lads here can poop!!  Me?  I poop petals so none of what happened here today has anything to do with me.

I came home from helping GA set up her first market stall (and then undoing all my niceless later that day by er, walking off with her keys) to find that the downstairs loo was blocked up.  Himself said 'you did it', 'Er, I don't bloody think so!!!' I retorted.  I said I;d have a go at unblocking it later . . I didn't really have the slightest notion of it, feck sake, there was pooh in the loo.  

Instead I went into town to take part in a march for changes to the Abortion Laws here in Ireland, but more about that in another post.

So, yesterday I got up and came downstairs (having tidied the upstairs of the house) to find a note saying "tried to unblock the toilet, it's your turn now, you'll need a wire coat hanger or similar!".  Yup, there was an explanation mark!!!!  I gave him a bloody explanation mark when I rang him and gave out shite to him about leaving me a note telling me to unblock the loo.

I wouldn't mind, but by the time I'd seen the note I'd already tried unblocking it with:

a. a stick.

b. a bit of our garden hose, about a metre, it was on you tube!

c. Wire.

d. I even stuffed the stick into the hose to see if that made a difference.  It didn't.

But all to no avail.  Instead I shouted at everyone.  Shouted at Himself and no.1 when they came in from a football match and took myself to bed.  

For the day!  

I got up at 6 to have dinner and was back in bed by 8.30.  I had a headache, another bloody headache to be precise.  I thought I was very clever taking both solpadeine (for the pain) and a sleeping tablet to help me sleep through the pain that the solpadeine was now going to cure. 

WRONG!!

The bloody caffeine in the painkiller completely negated the sleepy effect of the sleeping tablet.  Balls anyway.

Today I woke up thinking of the things I had to sort out for the day:: Wedding cake, chocolate for puddins, meeting a friend for coffee, more painkillers and unblocking that shitty toilet, pardon the pun.

I left the toilet til last.  Holy fuck.  I'd bought a 'snake' thing in B&Q and the man assured me it would sort everything out. 

It didn't.

I got covered in pooh.

The floors got covered in wet pooh.

I screamed.

I removed snaky thing.  Cleaned bathroom floors.  Scrubbed toilet.  Cleaned the loo, top to bottom, washing the walls and everything.  Then I took off my clothes, had a shower and binned everything!!!!  Clothes, towels, toilet brush and snakey thing.  I then rang a plumber.  I then rang Himself and told him "WE'RE GETTING A PLUMBER!!!" Bloody recession, I miss the days where you'd get a man in before trying anything yourself.

Plumber came (I love my father in law, you ring him looking for someone and he'll find him and send him around) and sorted it all out.  It took him a while.  He said we were lucky the loo hadn't overflowed.  He also said that the sewerage pipe running from the loo to the man hole out back was backed up.  Really backed up.  Something like 4 foot of poop in that pipe.

We're overfeeding the kids.