Remember how I said Himself

was wearing no. 3 like a hat during last weeks spider debacle?  Well, found this and, as no. 3 loves 'raffies, I thought I'd keep it for posterity.  

source

Couldn't resist

I was meant to be posting about chocolate but .. . this was funnier.

I.  Hate.  Spiders.

There are several posts here where I tell you of my highly amusing spidey dance - the one where I see a spider and leap around the place screaming like a big girl's blouse.  However, I always tell the kids that spiders are good and without them it would be mayhem.

Last week, whilst reading nos. 2 and 3 a story one, as in 'one spider' not no. 1, ran across the floor.  Myself and no. 2 both saw it and I said 'Mouse?' and no. 2 said 'No.  Spider.  Big spider!!'.  I tried to continue with the story (about a dog called 'fleck') but couldn't concentrate so I got a glass and captured the spider.  Himself got rid of it, always terrifed they'll get out of the glass and run up my arm or something.

Haha, years ago, when rescuing me from a spider, Himself threw it out the landing window. . . only for the wind to catch it and blow the bloody thing back in again.  On.  To.  Me.  

I think it took weeks for me to get over that.

Tonight though, I was downstairs when it sounded like all hell had broken loose.  I ran upstairs to see what was going on and saw Himself wearing no. 3 like a hat!!  I swear to god but he was sitting on Himelf's head, sobbing.  No. 2 was standing on his bed screaming.  

'What's wrong????' I roared.  'Spider' roared back Himself.  'It's not a 'spider' it's a GIANT spider' says no. 2.

You know what, they weren't lying.  I'd volunteered to go down and get a glass while Himself tried to locate the beast - I think the sound of screaming had scared it, I came back up and was all cool and 'sure, it's only a spider lads' whereupon the yoke legged it out from under the bed and, get this, STOOD ON IT'S BACK LEGS!!!  Kind've.

Jesus.

Got the glass over it and brought it downstairs.  As Himself was upstairs it was up to me to get the spider out of the glass by removing the cardboard underneath it BUT stop the spider coming after me.  So I threw the glass and the cardboard onto Billy's grass and legged it myself.

Spiderman!

Was sitting quietly watching Tangled with nos. 2 and 3.  'Quietly' because there had already been a barney over which movie to watch.  They each wanted a different one so I had them guess a number between one and five.  #2 guessed er, number 2 and #3 had a strop.  Put a stop to it but needless to say I think I came out the worse from it.

So, we were sitting watching Tangled when suddenly what looked like a mouse ran across the floor.  Not afraid of mice but am terrified of SPIDERS!!!  This was one BIG spider.

Caught him under a glass and managed to get him onto the coffee table.  So, with one eye on the telly and one eye on the spider we watched fascinated as he (yeah, I know) started to shoulder the glass off the table.  He jumped up and down too.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.  Put book on top of glass and legged it to a neighbours.  Any neighbour.  

Found Noel.  He laughed and said 'er, spider?',  Er, YEAH!!!  He came over and when he saw it he understood why it sounded like I was talking in Capital Letters when I said SPIDER.  He wrestled it out to the back garden and all was good.

A good friend rang and said 'did he kill it?' to which I replied 'No?!', 'Hmmmm, not good.  Those things can run fast;.  I laughed, we talked about cake and I went back to watching Rapunzel doing her thing.  . . . . .  there he was.  The spiders little BIG brother.  Got him under a glass but he was less happy.  He started pogoing up and down.  Back over to poor Noel.  

Noel is my hero.  My spiderman.  

Y'hear that?  That's another of the little freakin' things trying to kick over a glass.  AAAAAAAAAAAGH.  Indeed.